The Best Gift...

Fun in the Big Apple

So, it's true. I've been to New York every year since I was 8. But I've never been to New York City. Until now.










Funny story. I met Liz, a sweet missionary from Pennsylvania, while on my first medical mission trip in 2009. It just so happens that she is back in the states and now lives in the Big Apple! Thus, I had a chance to not only enjoy the sweetness of the Lord in visiting Liz, but also had a great place to stay while getting my first taste of NYC! Top it all off with a free round trip flight, thanks to my trusty SouthWest Airlines VISA card, and you have one happy little girl! ME!

Liz and I met at a medical missions clinic day in Romania. She was there working with International med students from the college in Iasi, Romania. And I was there with my church. It was one of those "I know you from somewhere" type of meetings. After we realized there was no possible way we could have met, and that the familiarity already between us must be the work of the Holy Spirit, a beautiful friendship was born; sustained via Skype, email, postcards, and well, another trip to Romania last year!

The Lord called Liz back to graduate school and thus began my first adventure to the Big Apple!

We share a love of international cuisine, so after navigating the flight to Newark, the train to Penn Station, and the NY subway system, we headed to ZOMA for some Ethiopian food! Dinner was fascinating and delicious and apparently we like Ethiopian lager!!









Friday began with coffee, a bagel, and a pumpkin donut from Dunkin Donuts!! Then, it was a long but adventurous day of taking the subway to Brooklyn, waiting in line 45minutes for the best NY pizza (Grimaldi's!), walking a mile across the Brooklyn Bridge, experiencing OCCUPY WALL STREET, and heading to Battery Park to see Lady Liberty from across the River.


















So. Much. To. See.

Friday night we grabbed a Jamaba Juice smoothie and headed to see Sister Act on Broadway! Super fun show. Then we walked through Times Square at midnight and ate dinner at Shake Shack...DELICIOUS!!! Why do cheese fries, a sloppy good hamburger, pumpkin ale and pumpkin custard taste so much better past midnight????? Gooey goodness.

Saturday was much more laid back. Liz's roommate, Tori, joined us for a run at this great park on the river, complete with a rubber track and a beautifully diverse array of people enjoying the amazing weather. Later, Liz and I took the subway to Central Park, got some healthy sandwiches, spread out a blanket in the grass and read all afternoon! She studied and I borrowed The Help from her random bookshelf. (Great book! I can't wait to see the movie!!) That night, Liz cooked Nigerian food for us--a mad skill she acquired from her Nigerian medical student friends while in Romania! YUM!

Sunday, I had the privilege of worshipping in the East side at Trinity Grace Church. Wow. Let me just say it was a beautiful experience and edifying to the core. I'm so thankful that there are parts of the Body speaking truth, preaching the Gospel, and reflecting the love of Christ so fully around this country. TGC is doing these things powerfully!

It was almost time to go so Liz, Tori, Alexandria and I headed to lunch while I dragged my little rolling suit case through the east side. WHEW. We stayed a little too long so it was a mad dash to the train station to make it to the airport on time!! A perfect ending to a NEW YORK CITY experience. HA!












I'm so so thankful for such a great weekend, meeting new friends and enjoying unity and fellowship in Christ. I can't wait to go back again soon.

I love New York!

Display of His Splendor

I couldn't help my mind racing back to my 2001 Belize summer mission trip where, at the time, they placed you in the 6-seater airplane according to your body weight. You? 125? You sit here... Then they removed the large weight hanging from the tail of the plane as the propellers began to spin...
I can say I've only been in a plane smaller than that twice. And one of those times was just the other weekend. My roommate's step dad is a pilot and has a little 4-seater plane. Before dinner that night, we took off from Brewton municipal airport and flew an hour to the coast. Captain Smith calmed my nerves by giving us safety instructions like, "If we had to, I could land on that bridge down there..." and "Decatur, if we have to crash-land, right before we hit the ground, throw open that door so it doesn't jam...I had an engine go out on me last week in another plane, so I'm more safety conscious of late."
Such reassurance to know we'd covered the basics???!!! ha.


The flight was happily flawless and became relaxing after a lenghthy prayer and texting with my brother so at least someone in my family would know I died in a good mood. No, really, It was truly breathtaking to fly along Pensacola beach at 15oo feet and witness the sun set and the moon appear. I had wanted to go to the beach that weekend...funny that I actually got to go.
Enjoying creation from a new and different perspective is such a privilege. To behold the beautiful, vividly red ball of sun casting incredible light on the clouded horizon in colors that demand your attention as they are constantly changing until at last they are gone, and to turn your head and realize the moon has appeared as bright as ever from seemingly no where, all while you are being suspended and pushed along in a tiny little box of metal with wings that requires complete faith in gravity, physics, and Mr. Smith...is a splendid reminder of how small we are, how BIG God is and how glorious are His ways.

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His Hands" Psalm 91:1

Humbled and Amazed…Yet Again.

Whew! This week has kept me on my toes and brought me to my knees. Happily, it has ended with hands lifted high and a night of thanksgiving and praise.

What ha’ happened wuz…a week ago Friday, I received a call from the pharmacy that has been shipping my shots, informing me that my copay which was previously very manageable, was now going to be $1500 monthly. I will be the first to confess that my initial reaction was not pretty. Fear gripped me and all I could think about was a new mortgage and going blind. My mind raced from blindness, to losing my job, to losing my house, all within seconds. Whether irrational or not (um slightly!?), I reacted in fear/fight/and self preservation mode. I made a comment I regret and was sternly confronted about my inappropriate attitude and accusation. I knew my boss had chosen the different insurance plan and so, lastly, I went to him. He said he would make a phone call and as I drove home that morning I cried. How could I say I love and trust the Lord, only to have a pressing situation reveal my true character: LACK of trust and prideful self-sufficiency?? When I had time to reflect, I was able to pour it out before the Lord, apologize to the appropriate individual, and truly rest in knowing that the Lord is still in control, still loves me, and still longs for me to take EVERYTHING to Him…FIRST.

Later this week I made a call to the drug manufacturer who had offered financial assistance at the very beginning. I had never returned the phone call because I didn’t need it. Happily, and totally overwhelmingly, the lady on the other end informed me that I will be getting the first three months of the medicine free (credit what I already paid) and that my overall copay will remain manageable (and actually $10 a month LESS than before) after that. WAIT WHAT?!

I shared this info with my boss and not only was he as elated as I was, but he also informed me that even if this wasn’t the case, that they had worked out a plan that would also have been put in place to take care of the cost ($5000 deductable).

Humiliated. Unworthy. Brought low. Astounded by GRACE. Speechless. Amazed.

Lesson 1: MERCY – I did not get what I deserve (punishment for my lack of trust).

Lesson 2: GRACE – I AM getting what I do NOT deserve…PROVISION!

Lesson 3: Sometimes even when something sounds too good to be true, because of God’s grace, it really is true!

As I drove home from work THAT day, I was emotional for a completely different reason. I was overwhelmed with how extravagant the Lord’s provision was and humbled by His complete grace in how He dealt with me. I was reminded of His most important act of Mercy and Grace: The Cross of Jesus Christ. Jesus took our punishment (mercy!) and gives us His righteousness (grace!) when we place our trust in His finished work on the cross to make us right before God, able to be in His presence for all eternity! I could only respond in thanksgiving and praise. I could only tell the story so He’d receive more glory! Oh, He is so good. So personal. So intimate.

Last night, I had our dedication/house warming. Since this is a brand new house and no one has ever lived here, and stealing the idea from my sweet friend Ashley, I wanted to have people over to pray through the rooms as they looked around. We had a sweet night of fellowship, prayer, and yummy snacks (Annie your cookies are amazing?!). At the risk of making this post insanely long, here is the hand out that people got when they came in. I think it best reveals my heart for this newest blessing:

Joshua 24:15 “But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

Welcome to our house! I am so amazed at the timing of finding this house and the huge blessing that it is from the Lord! I thank God for the friends He has put in my life, and I know Linn does too. We both pray that this house will be a place of encouragement and hospitality to others. My main prayer is for God to be glorified my ownership of it. If you will, please chose a room in the house and silently pray over the items specifically mentioned, as well as anything else the LORD lays on your heart. We greatly appreciate your prayers!

GREAT ROOM: Please pray for this to be a room where we can welcome friends, family, and neighbors into our home. We want it to be a place where we can visit and encourage others with the love and message of Christ.

-Hebrews 10:23 “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

-John 13:34-35 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. ³⁵ By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

DINING ROOM: Please pray that the LORD will bless our meal times and celebrations when we have guests over.

-Proverbs 15:17 “Better a meal of vegetables where there is love, than a fattened calf with hatred."

-Colossians 4:6 “Let your conversations always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

KITCHEN: Please pray that we will use this kitchen as a means of hospitality to others and a source of joy and good stewardship as we eat at home more often than eating out! Pray for joyful hearts and loving interactions with each other on a day to day basis as we share this season of life as roommates and friends.

-1 Peter 4:11 “…If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory and power for ever and ever, Amen.”

-1 Corinthians 10:31 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

DEN: Please pray that this room will bring glory to God as we interact with our friends on the mission field via internet and phone. Pray that I’d be a good steward of my finances as I pay bills. And also that we would glorify God in our bodies as we keep them physically fit in this room, too!

-Colossians 3:2 “Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things.”

- Psalm 19:14 “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

MASTER BEDROOM (Karen’s room): Please pray I’d bring God glory while I work, in my spare time as I read, play guitar, listen to music, etc. I pray He would guard my mind and my thoughts as I wait on Him, provide wisdom as I plan and prepare to teach, bless my time in His Word.

-Isaiah 26:3 “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.”

- Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work at it wholeheartedly as though you were doing it for the Lord and not merely for people.”

2^nd BEDROOM (Linn’s room): Please pray the Lord would continue to bless our friendship and use this time living together to sharpen each other spiritually. Pray that God would continue to use Linn for His glory in her job as an OT, give her wisdom in her relationships, sustain those that are long-distance, and lead her as she disciples girls through her small group.

- Proverbs.27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

- Psalm 25:5 “Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.”

3^rd BEDROOM (Possibly Jessica’s room): Please pray that the Lord would make His will clear for Jessica as she moves back from India in November since we’d love to have her live with us, as well!

-Deuteronomy 4:29 “But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.”

Thanks for reading till the end!

My New Normal

While the fourth of July was yet another wonderful celebration of the freedoms we enjoy in this country, it was also the first day of the rest of my life. Yes. The rest of my life of self-administering the treatment for my newly diagnosed life challenge: MS. What began as a simple phone call from the pharmaceutical company was followed by several mailers including a welcome package, a travel medicine kit, an injector kit (which I quickly kicked to the curb--I’d rather do it myself and see what’s happening--but I’m getting ahead of myself…) and an information packet with drug facts and hints. These were complimented by several phone calls from the CVS Caremark pharmacy and nurses to see how I was doing, if I had questions, or any reactions, etc. WHEW! If I wanted to take this lightly like it was no big deal…the pharmaceutical company wasn’t going to let me miss the fact that I will now be on their drug for possibly the rest of my life!

All that to say, I was a bit squimish at first. Sure, I give shots all day long, to other people…but there is just something disturbing about approaching your own skin with a sharp object…intentionally! I admit, I was a little whiny the first few times. But to my surprise and delight, IT DIDN’T HURT! My incredible blessing of a roommate, Linn, was the perfect supervisor and cheerleader for the first two weeks, until I got into a routine. She would eagerly attend my “shot nights” and clap when I was finished! Haha…so funny.

I will praise the Lord for answering the prayers of so many of you…I have not had any side effects (barring the one night I forgot to take ibuprofen before my shot and woke up a 2am with shaking chills that lasted for a couple of hours—you can bet I haven’t made THAT mistake again!) Other than the shots, I wouldn’t even know I have MS. My vision is restored and my eye pain is gone. I get tired more easily but I think that is just because I haven’t worked out in FOREVER…because…..

I’ve been moving to my NEW HOUSE!!! Yeah! The Lord has lavished a fun new house on me and blessed me with one and possibly two wonderful roommates!! Linn made the move with me and Jessica may be joining us in November!! It has been a crazy adventure and very time consuming. But we’ve gotten most everything finished and the only room left that needs work…is mine! I still have a floor full of pictures and papers and odds and ends. But every other room is largely complete with the exception of some much needed wall art.

We have Bob (philodendron), Lily (peace lily), and Patty (petunia)…our three house plants. And we’ll be getting a forth for the dining room soon, a banana plant. Anyone want to name it?

Often, at some point during the day, Linn or I will inevitably make a comment about the fact that we really get to live here. In this wonderful place. And that it’s really mine?! It only takes a Saturday to realize, yes, I AM responsible for this place: I cut the back yard last weekend. I fought with the lawnmower and the hose wheel. I weeded the front planters. And tomorrow, I’ll begin sealing the garage floor. Ha!

Stay tuned because I want to have a house dedication. A night where I intentionally “give it back” to the One from Whom it came. A night where we can walk through each room and pray for how the Lord would use that space for His glory. A night of thanksgiving to God for His gracious gift. And a night of fellowship with one another, which I hope to be a regular occurrence in this place.

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. James 1:17

You Have Me

I was delightfully introduced to this band recently by a sweet friend and I have latched on to this song. It is so musically beautiful and the words are so powerful for me. I hope you enjoy! Click on the song title to listen to a fun live version on Youtube. Oh, the internet :)


You Have Me
Gungor

Out on the farthest edge
There in the silence
You were there

My faith was torn to shreds
Heart in the balance
And You were there

Always faithful, always good
You still have me
You still have my heart

I thought I had seen the end
Everything broken
But You were there

I've wandered at heaven's gates
I've made my bed in hell
You were there still

Always faithful, always good
You still have me
You still have my heart

You have me, You have me
You have my heart completely
You have me, You have me
You have my heart completely

You have me, You have me
You have my heart completely
You have me, You have me
You have my heart

You have me, You have me
You have my heart completely
You have me, You have me
You have my heart completely

One week and a day.

Well it's been a week since my "diagnosis" of multiple sclerosis, found only because I woke up last Tuesday largely unable to see out of my left eye. I still have that problem. It's been a busy week with house stuff (we close on July 15th and move in on the 24th!!!) and work, but it's been a good week. I've done pretty well adjusting to my lack of depth perception and happily the crazy sensitivity to light has gone away! I even did three surgeries this week. It feels good to be back in the O.R. and I can still do my job. I just don't want to spend all day in surgery at this point because it's not the best idea and it's a strain on my "good" eye. Still, I'm so thankful I'm not sitting at home contemplating all the unknowns of MS. Because they are just that. Unknown.

I've gotten multiple calls, kits, injectors, and helps from what will be my new medication people. I'll start my beta-interfuron injections next week on Monday Wednesday and Fridays. That leaves no weekend injections. YAY! It seems pretty easy and the kit is pretty self explanatory. The only thing I'm praying for is little to no side effects from the medicine, which can range anywhere from injector site reactions, to flu-like symptoms, to...suicidal ideations. Hm. Lovely.
All in all, it's pretty affordable too.

I have a second opinion appointment scheduled end of July but I'm hoping to be worked in sooner because I really just want ..a second opinion...ha...about the meds. There are several to choose from and each have their own list of pros and cons. So we'll see with all that.

Confession time. Today was really the first day I struggled with a bad attitude/frustration and reacted poorly to a couple of people's inquires at work. I felt immediately terrible and the Lord reminded me of His love and grace. By mid morning, He had restored my peace, joy and happiness even...and again, I got to go to surgery today so that was great!! We even had lunch catered two days in a row so I didn't have to wait till we were finished with clinic to grab food while walking to the O.R...haha it's the little things. And it's those same little things that remind me over and over again that I am rich. I am abundantly blessed. I have my needs met, my stomach fed, my heart full of joy and love, and more than all of that, I have a Savior, Redeemer, and Lord Who made me, called me, saved me and has given me NEW LIFE and the greatest purpose ever...To Bring Him GLORY.

I pray that I will be faithful during times of frustration. I pray that I will be patient as the Lord teaches me to trust Him more fully, to pour out my heart to HIM and to walk WITH Him. I pray that others will long to know the FULLNESS of His love through Christ Jesus Who removed the separation between us and God by paying our penalty for sin on the cross. Jesus is the only way possible to have communion...sweet amazing full communion with the Father.

"O taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the man that takes refuge in Him. Ps 34.8"

Can we say...WHIRLWIND!?!

India was amazing and I could write all day on how amazing, hard, beautiful, exciting, stretching, challenging, wonderful and awesome our trip was. I want to tell you about getting chosen to return to Pastor Raju's house church, share my testimony, see familiar faces and hug their necks. I want to tell you about how VBS went from an expected 1,000 kids to up to 1,500 kids!! And how chaotic and discouraging the first day was. But how amazingly as we prayed over the worship room, prayed as a group, individually, and in our team meeting asking God to dispell the spirit of chaos, to calm the children to prepare them to receive his Word, to give us tangible evidence of Him...and how He SHOWED UP!!! Tuesday was like a COMPLETELY different day. It was also the day I met B-ita.
Annie and I split the four 8-10yr old classes, so we had two each. Translation nightmare the first day was completely resolved the rest of the week. B-ita was actually the teacher AND translator in my second room. I new she was a believer just by watching her with the children. Every morning I'd enter and the kids would stand at their desk and proclaim "GOOD MORNING MA'AM!" Then she would have them say thier name and take roll. She's ask me to pray and we'd begin. I taught and did craft in her room first every day, completed the second class and then return to hers, where we'd usually sit and chat while kids were coloring. "I want to tell you my story" she said on Wed. And she disclosed how she was raised Hindu but begin secretly reading the bible early mornings and late nights so her family wouldn't find out. But they did. And they beat her. But she kept reading and felt no pain. Just pain that they didn't know this Jesus. Oh but God moved, changed their hearts and they are Christ followers! She's in her mid 20s and married a young pastor last year--and they have a small fellowship of 20 families, including her parents! Thursday she confessed she is 4 months pregnant!! Finally, they are preparing to move away from the city to a Muslim area because they feel called to start a new fellowship there among non-believers. Wow. God is moving in INDIA!!!!!

After the first lesson about God sending Jesus to call people to be part of His family (ie disciples) and the second lesson about how God uses the bible, the witness of others, our questions, and even conviction of sin to bring people to Himself, B-ita told me one of my students took off his Hindu idol necklaces and bracelets and threw them away because he wanted to follow God! The 4th day, we taught how God can change even his enemies hearts to follow Him (ie Saul became Paul when he encountered Jesus Christ on the road to Damascus)...I asked if anyone knew an enemy of God--fully preparing to say, well then how can we pray for them? That God would change their hearts to follow Him.....but before I could even get that far, a young girl on the front row raised her hand, pointed to the precious little girl next to her and said "Her parents are enemies of God!" Momentarily caught off guard, I began to speak when B-ita walked over to the sweet girl, spoke to her in Hindi (sharing her own story of her own parents) and asked if she wanted us to pray for her. So B-ita and I laid hands on this sweet child and prayed out lound. Hindi and English to the Father's ears interceding for this sweet girl and her family to Know the ONE TRUE GOD. Oh wow. I was walking on the CLOUDS all week. Speechless. Humbled. Amazed. Wowed. Awe-inspired. God took me to India to love B-ita, my sweet new friend. To teach these kids His truth, and to learn that He is SO MUCH BIGGER than I will ever comprehend. He didn't need me to go there. But He gave me the most amazing privilege I could have ever asked for. To be a part of His eternal Kingdom work. hm.

AND THEN....
I got home from India Sun night, got in bed around midnight, hit the ground running at work because it was CRAZY, picked my dad up from the airport on Thursday, looked at townhouses on Friday, he wasn't impressed. So he asked that I'd look at a new development he'd researched on the web and we drove out there Saturday. We stumbled up a brand new house in a wonderful new subdivision with a pool/club house where people WAVE at you as you pass. All the builder upgrades, front load washer/dryer, granite, hardwoods, stainless appliance pack, front/back porch, oh and they are throwing in the fence too. HA. I had to think. Just ponder. This is huge!!!

Sunday, dad and I went golfing and then he left. I spent intense time writing out my prayers/fears/worries/asking for wisdom, etc. And then walked in to church where the sermon was on the Fatherhood of God. Um WOW. Thanks dad and thank you HEAVENLY FATHER! I felt immediate peace as so many of my written prayers were addressed in the sermon. I wrote a contract on the house on Monday afternoon with my roommate (who is super excited; yet another confirmation!!).AND THEN>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I woke up Tuesday morning with limited to no vision in my left eye. After realizing sewing my first total hip surgery was more of a challenge than I desired, and my doc telling me to get my eye checked, I left the O.R. I went UPSTAIRS and saw an optometrist, an opthamologist, and she referred me instantly to a neurologist. I got an MRI, with and without contrast, and blood work. I knew I had optic neuritis. And I knew that was potentially bad. Wednesday morning I met with the neurologist who confirmed the MRI showed I had Multiple Sclerosis and the optic neuritis was my first "attack." I WALKED over to the infusion room where I started my 1st (of 5) hour long infusions of steriods to get my vision back. WOw.

Okay recap. Within 24hrs I had seen 3 specialist, had an MRI, bloodwork, a diagnosis and was starting treatment. ALL BECAUSE OF MY OCCUPATION! I am so incredibly blessed to work where I do. And it is yet ANOTHER confirmation that this house thing was the right choice because looks like I'll be in B'ham for awhile with my neurologist until we can get this new diagnosis under control.What a difference a day makes!!!! His mercies are truly new every morning. Great is His faithfulness. I will embrace this new life challenge. I will be thankful it's not cancer or a brain tumor (and continue to pray for Jonathan Bean who DOES have a brain tumor). I will pray earnestly as a child of the Great PHYSICIAN for complete healing and restoration of my eyesight. And I will trust Him to use this in my life for HIS purposes, HIS glory. I pray others would see His peace in me and wonder how I have it. I can't wait to tell them about My GOD!

I begin beta-interfuron injections in my stomach 3x week for the rest of my life (or until they come out with an oral med which should be in the next 5yrs!)...and this will help slow the progression of the disease and make "attacks" less frequent. So many people live a normal, manageable life and have families, kids, careers.

Lord, You formed me in my mothers womb. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. That my soul knows VERY WELL. ~Psalm 139

#Blessed

War and Peace

It's almost 1am and I still have more clothes on my bed than in my suitcase. BUT..I do have packed: a book and a note and a surprise for Jessica, coffee and clothes for Kristina, a journal for JoJo, peanut butter and other treats for Gloria, and boots and school supplies for Kristina too. Oh, and all of our VBS craft supplies (well, my portion, these were equally split up thankfully!)...

At this rate, I may or may not be clothed during my week in India!?! Of course, it IS 110+ degrees there currently. So hey, may not be so bad after all ;)

Really, the point of my post is to remind myself, and you of course, just how the Lord has directed so many steps along the way leading up to this trip. Because, to be honest, these past three days have been difficult. And I was enlightened by the rest of our team at our final meeting last night, that they too are experiencing increased difficulty this week. Health issues, family sickness, job issues, family job loss, house transitions, kid transitions, frustrations, feelings of unpreparedness, fatigue, and faintheartedness.

But do you know why? Because what is about to transpire is a threat to a very real power:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, 19 and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. Ephesians 6:10-20

And also, there is a very big battle going on in the heavenly realms. We get a glimpse of that fact from the prophet Daniel:

And behold, a hand touched me and set me trembling on my hands and knees. 11 And he said to me, “O Daniel, man greatly loved, understand the words that I speak to you, and stand upright, for now I have been sent to you.” And when he had spoken this word to me, I stood up trembling. 12 Then he said to me, “Fear not, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand and humbled yourself before your God, your words have been heard, and I have come because of your words. 13 The prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me twenty-one days, but Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I was left there with the kings of Persia, 14 and came to make you understand what is to happen to your people in the latter days. For the vision is for days yet to come.” When he had spoken to me according to these words, I turned my face toward the ground and was mute. 16 And behold, one in the likeness of the children of man touched my lips. Then I opened my mouth and spoke. I said to him who stood before me, “O my lord, by reason of the vision pains have come upon me, and I retain no strength. 17 How can my lord's servant talk with my lord? For now no strength remains in me, and no breath is left in me.” Again one having the appearance of a man touched me and strengthened me. 19 And he said, “O man greatly loved, fear not, peace be with you; be strong and of good courage.” And as he spoke to me, I was strengthened and said, “Let my lord speak, for you have strengthened me.” 20 Then he said, “Do you know why I have come to you? But now I will return to fight against the prince of Persia; and when I go out, behold, the prince of Greece will come. 21 But I will tell you what is inscribed in the book of truth: there is none who contends by my side against these except Michael, your prince. Daniel 10:10-21

So we spent a large portion of our evening in prayer to the One True God. We rely on Him, need Him and have nothing to offer without HIM. And I was able to spend a refreshing evening with my sweet friend Heidi and her children. We prayed together and Isaiah (3ys) thanked God for Miss Karen and shorts. I meeeaaaaannnn....how amazing is that. I love that little guy! Heidi prayed over me and for our team; I came home to find a sweet treat and notebook with a prayer on a note from Ashley, and then was able to continue my refreshing with sweet Cierra and Audrie over a big juicy hamburger (did I mention I'm going to India?). Ci prayed over me as well and seriously, the presence of the Lord feels like a blanket of peace wrapped around me.

I'm so thankful for the preparation, the VBS lesson we'll be teaching and the vivid illustrations that make up our teaching time with these kids. It's as if I gave only a small few of you a sticker on your hand. Then, I offered candy to all of you but qualified it by saying only those with a sticker can have a piece of candy. You have a sticker problem if you don't have a sticker. Is there anything you can do about your sticker problem? Can you change my requirement? No. Can you create a sticker out of nothing? No. Well now what? You can do nothing about your sticker problem. But...I can do something. I won't change my requirement. You still need a sticker to get candy. BUT. I can give EVERYONE a sticker. And thus, all a piece of candy.

And so it is with the One True God. His requirement to be a part of His family, to be with Him eternally in Heaven, is righteousness. But, we have a sin problem. We can do nothing about our sin problem. It is our essence, our nature. Not just what we do, but who we are. Nor will a HOLY God change his requirement of righteousness. BUT...what He can do, is extend righteousness to all of us. And He DID! Through the shed blood of a sinless Man as Jesus took our sin upon himself at His death on the cross. Now, the bible says, Whosoever (ie: anyone) believes in Him (on Him...for salvation from death and separation) should not perish but have eternal life....to those who called upon Him, He gave the right to be called children of God!

Praise OUR GOD!

The Countdown BEGINS!

WOW. So many amazing and wonderful blessings to share these past few weeks!!

Let's start with just how many wonderful people I have met through my church faith family...and gotten so close to, and watched as the Lord has called them other places, to other countries. I am so thankful for Kristina and Jessica. For the Nichols and Coe families. And for Brook and Heidi. It's so amazing how just several months ago, I was in India meeting the Landge family and hanging with my new Indian brother, Jojo...and then he came to the states and we spent six months in true fellowship. I met so many wonderful brothers and sisters THROUGH Jojo and his passion for people and for Christ. Now he is back in India...and I'm going there in 10 days!!!! It's come full circle. Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! (Romans 11:33)!!

Also this past week, I was able to travel home to FL and spend time in Tampa, Clearwater Beach, and Merritt Island...soaking up time with friends, mentors, family and the Lord. My favorite place on the planet is sitting with my bible and praying on the beach in the cool breeze and perfectly blue sky. The water was SO CLEAR and the temperature was mid70s. I serioulsy could have stayed there forever.

While I was gone, another wonderful blessing, my new roommate was moving in so that not only did I have a sweet ride home from the airport...I had an apt full of boxes!! YAY! That means yet another chapter of "the roommates of Karen Connor" has begun. So many times of fun, fellowship and fitness ahead :)

Lastly, we had our last India team meeting before our last India team meeting last Sunday. Ha. Yes, it was our last pre-scheduled meeting during which we realized we need yet another "last" meeting to wrap up and truly prepare with excellence. I love this TEAM!!!!! We are truly uniting in heart and Spirit and I cannot WAIT to see what the Lord will do through us. Each member is perfectly suited for the needed roles...we have a musician who choreographed all the songs! We have three men that WANT to be master teachers and are PUMPED about it! We have fabulously creative people who thought up and planned all the crafts. We have athletes who have planned all the recreation. We have artists who have designed the room decor, and we have an amazingly enthusiastic team leader who CHALLENGES us with her faith, passion, love, and excitement!!

I will be working with 8/9/10 year olds and helping with music. I've also been asked to be the official "first aide" lady for any injuries. Ha. Nice.

We long to impart to these slum kids that they have value because they have a Loving Creator, they are special because God is calling them to know Him. And that Jesus died for their sins to make it possible for each one of them to have a personal relationship with the ONE TRUE GOD!

We'll be working along side the Indian national teachers and translators who work hard every year to provide this opportunity for the kids to get out of the slums and get into the city and be loved on, taught, poured into, fed, and taught the Truth of the Gospel.

I can only begin to tell you just how FULL my cup is to overflowing with so many wonderful "lovies" from my Father in Heaven! I long to pour my self out on His behalf and for His glory... in my family, in my friendships, at work, in my faith family, and in other contexts around the world as the Lord calls.

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” (Romans 8:15)

Learning How to Love

Steven Curtis Chapman's son Caleb has a band by that name and it's pretty legit! Here's the lyrics to a favorite song of his...look them up on iTunes!!! Or click the song title (link) for a poor recording attempt from a live concert..he's such a little cutie.

LEARNING HOW TO LOVE

By Caleb

Say, they say that trust it takes time.

That it’s a mountain to climb.

I think that I am the reason why.

Break,

I’ve broken promises made.

I’ve shaken ground that’s been laid.

And built these walls to protect my pride.

I think I’m falling apart at the seams.

And it seems they’re unraveling, as usual.

CHORUS:

I’ve been waiting for… things to change in my heart again.

I’ve been changing… while waiting,

I’ll be taking steps for YOU.

I’ve been changed,

But I’m still learning how to Love.

I’m still learning how to Love.

Take me.

I feared that love wouldn’t take me.

I feared that Grace was a maybe.

I feared the cost of my broken word.

Trust me.

You took my hand and said “Trust Me.

You took my heart and said “Love Me.

With who you are not with who you were.

Why do I run to the things that I don’t want to do

What’s the problem here?

I’ve felt Love that’s been true

But continued to unravel still…

CHORUS

Refrain:

Oh these storms I know

These battles of the soul

The scars that start to show

While learning how, learning how, I am learning how to Love…..

CHORUS

Truth

From my morning time in the Word...sometimes the Word just hits a chord with us...did that today. Praying expectantly. Oh Lord, you are Sovereign.

2 Corinthians 2

1 For I made up my mind not to make another painful visit to you. 2 For if I cause you pain, who is there to make me glad but the one whom I have pained? 3 And I wrote as I did, so that when I came I might not suffer pain from those who should have made me rejoice, for I felt sure of all of you, that my joy would be the joy of you all. 4 For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you.

Forgive the Sinner

5 Now if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure—not to put it too severely—to all of you. 6 For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, 7 so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 8 So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him. 9 For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything. 10 Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, 11 so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.

Saturated

And I don't mean by layers upon layers of tree pollen...

I mean, by India! I couldn't get away from the mere mention of Mother India if I tried these days. And I couldn't be more enthralled! She's everywhere: Where I've been, where I've bid farewell to a new but dear friend-Kristina, where my Pastor is on his journey home from, and where we will soon commission yet another new and sweet dear friend, Jessica. Oh, and did I mention I'm going back as well?

I'm learning so many new things about India these days and just drinking it all in. All the while, my heart is breaking over what I hear.

By the numbers:
*Home to 1.1 billion people.
*41% of the worlds poor reside in India.
*Over 130 million of these people do not currently have access to clean, safe drinking water.
*456 distinct languages.
*The New Testament has been translated into about 120 of these languages; the entire Bible into only 70 of them.
*Northern India is home to 600 million people but where fewer than 0.5 percent are evangelical Christians.

On the flip side, I'm truly filled with joy to hear how God is moving. God's heart is for the nations! He longs for sons and daughters from every tribe, tongue and nation of the earth to know Him, enjoy Him, and worship Him. And He is working mightily in this dark country!

As a team we are preparing together by focusing on God's glory among the nations. Here are some excerpts from our team training study:

God's global purpose is to redeem a people unto Himself. That is the overriding theme of the Bible--from Genesis to Revelation. In heaven there will be a great multicultural worship service that culminates this gathering. See Rev. 7:9-12 for a description. To that end He has commissioned us as ambassadors to take the good news to all the "ethne" or people groups. All nations whom You have made shall come and worship before You, O Lord; and they shall glorify Your name (Psalm 86:9). We ... worship in the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus... (Phil 3:3). "God can be loved only when He is known. That’s why the story of the Bible is the story of God revealing Himself in order to draw to Himself obedient worship, or glory, from the nations. With God’s passionate love at the core, the Bible is truly the story of His glory...A Purpose Beyond Salvation...People are indeed saved by the global declaration of God’s salvation, but the ultimate value of their salvation is not to be seen in what they are saved from, it is what they are saved for that really matters. People are saved to serve God in worship. In this respect, we can say that world evangelization is for God. However accustomed we may be to seeing people as being of paramount importance, the Bible is clear: The rationale for mission is the colossal worthiness of God. Examine the logic of Psalm 96:2-4: Proclaim good tidings of His salvation ... Tell of His glory... among all peoples. For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; He is to be feared above all gods." ~Steve Hawthorne

So, rather than sit in my amazing church Sunday after Sunday, in my beautiful city, in this free country, where I am in the richest 2% of the entire globe...and soak it all up until I go rancid...

I choose to be squeezed out, wrung out even...For I am saturated with the Good News of the saving Grace of God through Christ crucified on behalf of the entire world. I am full of that Grace and I long to be emptied out, to quench the spiritual thirst of the nations as they drink deeply, for the first time, the Glory of God in Christ!

Little Children....

All the paper work has been turned in and I'm in preparation mode...even though we still have a little under three months left before departure. We had our first official team meeting at our team leader (KB)s' home, which was a first for me and I LOVED the way it made us instantly feel like not only a team but a family. She's a strong leader and I'm really excited to travel under her and learn from her!

KB gave us each a folder full of info about the trip. This woman is crazy organized. She also challenged us to fast one day a week until we leave and gave us a myriad list of things to pray through and for. HARD! The team chose Thursday but that is unrealistic for me so I chose Saturdays. In some ways easier, in some ways harder. Today is Saturday. This is my first day. And I'm hungry. And so I blog :)

Our team has several couples, meaning, we will have men! And these men are EXCITED about teaching the Word! It is so beautiful and encouraging to me to see men lead and serve!! There are some great single gals, too, that I can't wait get to know better. All total, we have 15 people on our team...It's going to be an amazing trip just from the looks of the roster!

I've been in a bible study this school year with my friend Annie who is also on our team. We've been studying through Isaiah and have been blown away by the prophets vivid description of idols, idolatry, and the One True God. Throughout this book of the Bible, we've been constantly reminded of our trip to India last September. Annie and I had just started the study and were living it on the streets of India at the same time. In many ways, we could better understand the gravity and deception spoken of by Isaiah: That with one half of the wood they make fires and cook their food, and with the other half, they carve idols that they then bow and worship. That these idols have mouths but cannot speak, ears but cannot hear, and are burdensome. They cannot move from place to place but must be carried by those that create them. They cannot answer prayer or give hope. They are lifeless and those who worship them will become like them.

These are strong, eye opening, and maybe even offensive words to some. But they are true not only for cultures with 33million gods and goddesses...but for me and my culture as well. In fact, there idols are visible and plainly seen as idolatry in light of scripture. The idols in my culture are much much more subtle. And yet, just as lifeless and deceptive. My culture has idols like food (that is really real to me right now...did I mention I'm hungry??? lol)...like drinking and partying...like sexual exploits and constantly seeking after pleasure...like wealth and material possessions...(It's been said that while we are busy keep up with the Jones' most people in this world are just trying to survive). I could go on and on but I think you get the point. And hopefully you are sifting through your own life and asking yourself, What gives me comfort? What is it that makes me feel satisfied? Where am I getting my self-worth, my hope? What am I turning to in hardship or relying on to "escape" the difficulties of this life? If you are like me, the answers are sometimes not pretty. They are selfish, and often based on deception. And more times than not, leave us feeling the same or worse then before we acquiesced.

Contrast the above with the words of the Lord through Isaiah in chapter 46:3-4:
“Listen to me, you descendants of Jacob,
all the remnant of the people of Israel,
you whom I have upheld since your birth,
and have carried since you were born.
Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you."

I'm so thankful that the Lord has given me this opportunity to see Him so clearly, through scripture, through the people groups of this world, and through my own struggles as I walk with Him. "It is in Him, through the shedding of His blood, that we have our deliverance--the forgiveness of our offenses--so abundant was God's grace" Ephesians 1:7

And finally, I love how John addresses us in 1 John 5:21...and the sweetness of his warning:
"Little children, guard yourselves from idols."

Amen.

Doors of India--DOOR OF OPPORTUNITY!

I'm always sweetly surprised by how perfect God's timing truly is. A week ago, I had several friends over for a "girls night in" and as we sat around my kitchen table sharing delicious pizza (nope, I wasn't even about to cook on a Friday evening after a LOOONG week!)....we predictably landed on the subject of missions. Annie and I went to India together just last September, Linn will be going to Dominican in June for a few weeks, Kristen is awaiting her work Visa to return to south India to teach...and well, Katie mentioned a trip to India with the church in June. It will be working with slum kids--about 800-900 of them from four different slums--in a vacation bible school type setting. Delhi, I asked? Yup, Delhi, she replied...In JUNE...and oh by the way, the deadline to sign up is this TUESDAY!!

My mind raced through "MY" plans for my summer. And quickly proved I had none. I had wanted to travel to Kenya on a medical trip. And to S. Africa with another church. I had heard about an opportunity to return to Dominican and possibly meet my Compassion child. But my heart had skipped a beat over India...again so soon?? I couldn't begin to imagine.

Annie sounded pretty convinced she was going to sign up. After all, June is slow for the accounting world. I never have a "slow" time. And how in the world was I to ask permission in a DAY? "SO Mr. Boss....I'd like to know if I can go on such and such a trip. Oh, and I need to know by tomorrow. Got it?" Yeah.....

Well, I spent the weekend in prayer and attempting to email the above mentioned trip possibilities. Four of them, to be exact. And I stayed inside. And I stayed quiet.

By Sunday evening after church, I had three emails in my inbox. All from the leader of the India trip. The first was about a page and a half long with multiple exclamation points. This lady was pumped about her trip!!! And she sounded so fun! I had heard some great things about her as she had only recently stepped down from the childrens leader position at our church. Everyone who knew her said she was a ball of energy and super wonderful. The remaining emails had to do with our ministry partners and the details of their ministry, both of which I knew well since I had only just been there.

I sat there staring at the computer screen, thinking aloud. I can't think of a reason NOT to go on this trip! I will be in the same city, with the same stellar mission organization, with the same people I've already built relationships with, and even traveling with Annie again, who happens to also be in my bible study here on Tues nights (so we know what each other have been learning in the Word and have been sharing fellowship biweekly since mid summer). Plus the fact that I've truly desired to meet more older women in our church and would love to see my sponsor child again. It will all come down to my boss. Lord, you can shut this door tomorrow if I am not supposed to go. You can fling it wide open at the same time. Use him to steer me toward or away from this trip according to your purpose.

So, as my thoughts above became reality, I addressed my boss with my day deadline in approving this trip. And then, I slept on it.

Tuesday was a full and busy day of eight surgeries, all total joint replacements. I was exhausted when I walked sheepishly into my office managers office...with the look of ...well??? Oh, he said, I talked to the docs and they said it shouldn't be a problem.

And so, the rest of the evening consisted of me getting my application notarized, deposit check, and paperwork to the church and in the safe deposit through rush hour traffic in the rain at 530pm.

I'M GOING BACK TO INDIA!!!!!!