One week and a day.

Well it's been a week since my "diagnosis" of multiple sclerosis, found only because I woke up last Tuesday largely unable to see out of my left eye. I still have that problem. It's been a busy week with house stuff (we close on July 15th and move in on the 24th!!!) and work, but it's been a good week. I've done pretty well adjusting to my lack of depth perception and happily the crazy sensitivity to light has gone away! I even did three surgeries this week. It feels good to be back in the O.R. and I can still do my job. I just don't want to spend all day in surgery at this point because it's not the best idea and it's a strain on my "good" eye. Still, I'm so thankful I'm not sitting at home contemplating all the unknowns of MS. Because they are just that. Unknown.

I've gotten multiple calls, kits, injectors, and helps from what will be my new medication people. I'll start my beta-interfuron injections next week on Monday Wednesday and Fridays. That leaves no weekend injections. YAY! It seems pretty easy and the kit is pretty self explanatory. The only thing I'm praying for is little to no side effects from the medicine, which can range anywhere from injector site reactions, to flu-like symptoms, to...suicidal ideations. Hm. Lovely.
All in all, it's pretty affordable too.

I have a second opinion appointment scheduled end of July but I'm hoping to be worked in sooner because I really just want ..a second opinion...ha...about the meds. There are several to choose from and each have their own list of pros and cons. So we'll see with all that.

Confession time. Today was really the first day I struggled with a bad attitude/frustration and reacted poorly to a couple of people's inquires at work. I felt immediately terrible and the Lord reminded me of His love and grace. By mid morning, He had restored my peace, joy and happiness even...and again, I got to go to surgery today so that was great!! We even had lunch catered two days in a row so I didn't have to wait till we were finished with clinic to grab food while walking to the O.R...haha it's the little things. And it's those same little things that remind me over and over again that I am rich. I am abundantly blessed. I have my needs met, my stomach fed, my heart full of joy and love, and more than all of that, I have a Savior, Redeemer, and Lord Who made me, called me, saved me and has given me NEW LIFE and the greatest purpose ever...To Bring Him GLORY.

I pray that I will be faithful during times of frustration. I pray that I will be patient as the Lord teaches me to trust Him more fully, to pour out my heart to HIM and to walk WITH Him. I pray that others will long to know the FULLNESS of His love through Christ Jesus Who removed the separation between us and God by paying our penalty for sin on the cross. Jesus is the only way possible to have communion...sweet amazing full communion with the Father.

"O taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the man that takes refuge in Him. Ps 34.8"

Can we say...WHIRLWIND!?!

India was amazing and I could write all day on how amazing, hard, beautiful, exciting, stretching, challenging, wonderful and awesome our trip was. I want to tell you about getting chosen to return to Pastor Raju's house church, share my testimony, see familiar faces and hug their necks. I want to tell you about how VBS went from an expected 1,000 kids to up to 1,500 kids!! And how chaotic and discouraging the first day was. But how amazingly as we prayed over the worship room, prayed as a group, individually, and in our team meeting asking God to dispell the spirit of chaos, to calm the children to prepare them to receive his Word, to give us tangible evidence of Him...and how He SHOWED UP!!! Tuesday was like a COMPLETELY different day. It was also the day I met B-ita.
Annie and I split the four 8-10yr old classes, so we had two each. Translation nightmare the first day was completely resolved the rest of the week. B-ita was actually the teacher AND translator in my second room. I new she was a believer just by watching her with the children. Every morning I'd enter and the kids would stand at their desk and proclaim "GOOD MORNING MA'AM!" Then she would have them say thier name and take roll. She's ask me to pray and we'd begin. I taught and did craft in her room first every day, completed the second class and then return to hers, where we'd usually sit and chat while kids were coloring. "I want to tell you my story" she said on Wed. And she disclosed how she was raised Hindu but begin secretly reading the bible early mornings and late nights so her family wouldn't find out. But they did. And they beat her. But she kept reading and felt no pain. Just pain that they didn't know this Jesus. Oh but God moved, changed their hearts and they are Christ followers! She's in her mid 20s and married a young pastor last year--and they have a small fellowship of 20 families, including her parents! Thursday she confessed she is 4 months pregnant!! Finally, they are preparing to move away from the city to a Muslim area because they feel called to start a new fellowship there among non-believers. Wow. God is moving in INDIA!!!!!

After the first lesson about God sending Jesus to call people to be part of His family (ie disciples) and the second lesson about how God uses the bible, the witness of others, our questions, and even conviction of sin to bring people to Himself, B-ita told me one of my students took off his Hindu idol necklaces and bracelets and threw them away because he wanted to follow God! The 4th day, we taught how God can change even his enemies hearts to follow Him (ie Saul became Paul when he encountered Jesus Christ on the road to Damascus)...I asked if anyone knew an enemy of God--fully preparing to say, well then how can we pray for them? That God would change their hearts to follow Him.....but before I could even get that far, a young girl on the front row raised her hand, pointed to the precious little girl next to her and said "Her parents are enemies of God!" Momentarily caught off guard, I began to speak when B-ita walked over to the sweet girl, spoke to her in Hindi (sharing her own story of her own parents) and asked if she wanted us to pray for her. So B-ita and I laid hands on this sweet child and prayed out lound. Hindi and English to the Father's ears interceding for this sweet girl and her family to Know the ONE TRUE GOD. Oh wow. I was walking on the CLOUDS all week. Speechless. Humbled. Amazed. Wowed. Awe-inspired. God took me to India to love B-ita, my sweet new friend. To teach these kids His truth, and to learn that He is SO MUCH BIGGER than I will ever comprehend. He didn't need me to go there. But He gave me the most amazing privilege I could have ever asked for. To be a part of His eternal Kingdom work. hm.

AND THEN....
I got home from India Sun night, got in bed around midnight, hit the ground running at work because it was CRAZY, picked my dad up from the airport on Thursday, looked at townhouses on Friday, he wasn't impressed. So he asked that I'd look at a new development he'd researched on the web and we drove out there Saturday. We stumbled up a brand new house in a wonderful new subdivision with a pool/club house where people WAVE at you as you pass. All the builder upgrades, front load washer/dryer, granite, hardwoods, stainless appliance pack, front/back porch, oh and they are throwing in the fence too. HA. I had to think. Just ponder. This is huge!!!

Sunday, dad and I went golfing and then he left. I spent intense time writing out my prayers/fears/worries/asking for wisdom, etc. And then walked in to church where the sermon was on the Fatherhood of God. Um WOW. Thanks dad and thank you HEAVENLY FATHER! I felt immediate peace as so many of my written prayers were addressed in the sermon. I wrote a contract on the house on Monday afternoon with my roommate (who is super excited; yet another confirmation!!).AND THEN>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I woke up Tuesday morning with limited to no vision in my left eye. After realizing sewing my first total hip surgery was more of a challenge than I desired, and my doc telling me to get my eye checked, I left the O.R. I went UPSTAIRS and saw an optometrist, an opthamologist, and she referred me instantly to a neurologist. I got an MRI, with and without contrast, and blood work. I knew I had optic neuritis. And I knew that was potentially bad. Wednesday morning I met with the neurologist who confirmed the MRI showed I had Multiple Sclerosis and the optic neuritis was my first "attack." I WALKED over to the infusion room where I started my 1st (of 5) hour long infusions of steriods to get my vision back. WOw.

Okay recap. Within 24hrs I had seen 3 specialist, had an MRI, bloodwork, a diagnosis and was starting treatment. ALL BECAUSE OF MY OCCUPATION! I am so incredibly blessed to work where I do. And it is yet ANOTHER confirmation that this house thing was the right choice because looks like I'll be in B'ham for awhile with my neurologist until we can get this new diagnosis under control.What a difference a day makes!!!! His mercies are truly new every morning. Great is His faithfulness. I will embrace this new life challenge. I will be thankful it's not cancer or a brain tumor (and continue to pray for Jonathan Bean who DOES have a brain tumor). I will pray earnestly as a child of the Great PHYSICIAN for complete healing and restoration of my eyesight. And I will trust Him to use this in my life for HIS purposes, HIS glory. I pray others would see His peace in me and wonder how I have it. I can't wait to tell them about My GOD!

I begin beta-interfuron injections in my stomach 3x week for the rest of my life (or until they come out with an oral med which should be in the next 5yrs!)...and this will help slow the progression of the disease and make "attacks" less frequent. So many people live a normal, manageable life and have families, kids, careers.

Lord, You formed me in my mothers womb. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. That my soul knows VERY WELL. ~Psalm 139

#Blessed

War and Peace

It's almost 1am and I still have more clothes on my bed than in my suitcase. BUT..I do have packed: a book and a note and a surprise for Jessica, coffee and clothes for Kristina, a journal for JoJo, peanut butter and other treats for Gloria, and boots and school supplies for Kristina too. Oh, and all of our VBS craft supplies (well, my portion, these were equally split up thankfully!)...

At this rate, I may or may not be clothed during my week in India!?! Of course, it IS 110+ degrees there currently. So hey, may not be so bad after all ;)

Really, the point of my post is to remind myself, and you of course, just how the Lord has directed so many steps along the way leading up to this trip. Because, to be honest, these past three days have been difficult. And I was enlightened by the rest of our team at our final meeting last night, that they too are experiencing increased difficulty this week. Health issues, family sickness, job issues, family job loss, house transitions, kid transitions, frustrations, feelings of unpreparedness, fatigue, and faintheartedness.

But do you know why? Because what is about to transpire is a threat to a very real power:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, 19 and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. Ephesians 6:10-20

And also, there is a very big battle going on in the heavenly realms. We get a glimpse of that fact from the prophet Daniel:

And behold, a hand touched me and set me trembling on my hands and knees. 11 And he said to me, “O Daniel, man greatly loved, understand the words that I speak to you, and stand upright, for now I have been sent to you.” And when he had spoken this word to me, I stood up trembling. 12 Then he said to me, “Fear not, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand and humbled yourself before your God, your words have been heard, and I have come because of your words. 13 The prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me twenty-one days, but Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I was left there with the kings of Persia, 14 and came to make you understand what is to happen to your people in the latter days. For the vision is for days yet to come.” When he had spoken to me according to these words, I turned my face toward the ground and was mute. 16 And behold, one in the likeness of the children of man touched my lips. Then I opened my mouth and spoke. I said to him who stood before me, “O my lord, by reason of the vision pains have come upon me, and I retain no strength. 17 How can my lord's servant talk with my lord? For now no strength remains in me, and no breath is left in me.” Again one having the appearance of a man touched me and strengthened me. 19 And he said, “O man greatly loved, fear not, peace be with you; be strong and of good courage.” And as he spoke to me, I was strengthened and said, “Let my lord speak, for you have strengthened me.” 20 Then he said, “Do you know why I have come to you? But now I will return to fight against the prince of Persia; and when I go out, behold, the prince of Greece will come. 21 But I will tell you what is inscribed in the book of truth: there is none who contends by my side against these except Michael, your prince. Daniel 10:10-21

So we spent a large portion of our evening in prayer to the One True God. We rely on Him, need Him and have nothing to offer without HIM. And I was able to spend a refreshing evening with my sweet friend Heidi and her children. We prayed together and Isaiah (3ys) thanked God for Miss Karen and shorts. I meeeaaaaannnn....how amazing is that. I love that little guy! Heidi prayed over me and for our team; I came home to find a sweet treat and notebook with a prayer on a note from Ashley, and then was able to continue my refreshing with sweet Cierra and Audrie over a big juicy hamburger (did I mention I'm going to India?). Ci prayed over me as well and seriously, the presence of the Lord feels like a blanket of peace wrapped around me.

I'm so thankful for the preparation, the VBS lesson we'll be teaching and the vivid illustrations that make up our teaching time with these kids. It's as if I gave only a small few of you a sticker on your hand. Then, I offered candy to all of you but qualified it by saying only those with a sticker can have a piece of candy. You have a sticker problem if you don't have a sticker. Is there anything you can do about your sticker problem? Can you change my requirement? No. Can you create a sticker out of nothing? No. Well now what? You can do nothing about your sticker problem. But...I can do something. I won't change my requirement. You still need a sticker to get candy. BUT. I can give EVERYONE a sticker. And thus, all a piece of candy.

And so it is with the One True God. His requirement to be a part of His family, to be with Him eternally in Heaven, is righteousness. But, we have a sin problem. We can do nothing about our sin problem. It is our essence, our nature. Not just what we do, but who we are. Nor will a HOLY God change his requirement of righteousness. BUT...what He can do, is extend righteousness to all of us. And He DID! Through the shed blood of a sinless Man as Jesus took our sin upon himself at His death on the cross. Now, the bible says, Whosoever (ie: anyone) believes in Him (on Him...for salvation from death and separation) should not perish but have eternal life....to those who called upon Him, He gave the right to be called children of God!

Praise OUR GOD!