What's Next?

Have you ever become so engrossed in a book that you dread turning that last page, realizing it's over and having to step back into your world again? I love it when a book excites me, captivates me, and challenges me. I just finished reading one of the most powerful and convicting books I think I've ever read. BRUCHKO is about a young mans' journey as he becomes a Christian, feels called to missions, becomes passionate about a group of murderous South American Indians, and pursues that calling to reach this primative tribe, in order to be obedient to what he feels Christ has placed inside him. What he finds is more than you could possibly imagine. And he ends up learning more than he could ever teach. It challenges the very core of a believer, in WHO and in WHAT is our trust?

Reading that book definitely fanned the flame of desiring to be used in sharing God's redemption story; That God became a man and walked on the earth, so as to reconcile us, through Christ, to Himself.

The Lord reminds me often that I don't have to leave the country to make a difference. In fact, another recent read, a book called SAME KIND OF DIFFERENT AS ME, spoke to this very fact. It is a true story of a modern day high end art dealer, and a modern day cotton plantation slave from Louisiana. The story tells how their paths crossed and thier lives were changed forever because of it. I was humbled as I read how the influence of one person with faith in Christ, power in prayer, and a calling, can change the lives of so many people, through simple acts of obedience to what the Lord has placed in their heart.

I'm challenged to believe God can and will use me in specific ways that are unique to the gifts He has placed in me. I get jealous of friends who are "doing more" for the Lord, be it here or in other countries. I struggle sometimes to be content as a single woman, working 50+ hours a week, knowing that I have friends who are passionately pursuing the ministry that God has called them to. Do I feel called to be a PA? I have absolutely no doubt God has placed me where I am, doing the very thing I've wanted to do since I was seven. Do I feel like my job as a PA is truly ministry? Ah...therein lies the rub. I fail so often to realize that as a follower of Jesus Christ, as His hands and feet in this world, everything I do is ministry. Or should be. Wow. I have a long way to go in my attitude and actions on a daily basis. I miss so many opportunities. And although I do love being a PA, I can't help but ask God, what's next?

Books like the two above, coupled with so many sermons I've heard just over the past six months remind me how Scripture compells us to serve the orphans and widows, to take care of the poor, to give more of our time, talents, and treasure (and horde less), to welcome God's divine 'interruptions' to my plans for myself...and leave me with a Holy dissatisfaction. I want more of these things to become reality in my life.

Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for my possessions, my career, my family and friends, my church and even the trials I have walked through in my life. God is using each of these areas to teach me more about Who He is, how much He loves me, what He has done for me, and what He is doing in me.

Still, I know that I want more.