At the moment...

I'm listening to this song over an over. I listened to it probably 5 or 6 times in a row on my drive home yesterday. Sometimes it made me incredibly peaceful, some it brought tears down my checks. Mostly, it resonated through me as the cry of my soul at this place in time. Be all my hopes, Lord.


Only You

By: David Crowder Band

Take my heart, I lay it down
At the feet of You Who's crowned
Take my life, I'm letting go
I lift it up to You Who's throned

And I will worship You, Lord
Only You, Lord
And I will bow down before You
Only You Lord

Take my fret, take my fear
All I have, I'm leaving here
Be all my hopes, be all my dreams
Be all my delights, be my everything

And it's just You and me here now
Only You and me here now

You should see the view
When it's only You

Click here to watch and listen to this song...and enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPs-2hn5ZOg

~Birthday Excitement~

Well, when all is said and done, I handled turning 31 MUCH better than turning 30! I had a sweet 'girls night out' at Cocina Superior, grabbed "mall cookies" for dessert, and headed back to my apartment to play celebrity Taboo...fun times were had by all. (And I'm very impressed by Sarah Dunn's knowledge of modern pop culture!!)

Saturday was a little more, shall we say, interesting. Heidi and I planned to meet at Ashley's and head out to Moss Rock Preserve for a fun little hike (on what turned out to be one of the most beautiful days I've seen around here for what seems like FOREVER!). Unfortunately on the way, Heidi got a ticket. So arriving late, we all jumped in her car since she had Isaiah, who wasn't feeling well that morning. Arriving at the Preserve, Heidi was in the process of unbuckling Isaiah from the car seat when he threw up. Fun. So she got him out and set him on the ground where he puked a couple more times. Ashley and I helped get him cleaned up and suggested we go back. Nope! When he seemed settled enough, we loaded him in the back pack (complete with do-rag and sweater) and headed off for our hike. He promptly fell asleep and we actually had a great hike!

After the hike, we picked up some chicken salad from Ashley Mac's in Bluff Park and ate out on Ashley's back deck. On the way home, my car started steaming from the upper right side of the hood. I pulled over to check under the hood and realized my radiator had exploded and radiator fluid was everywhere. Some nice man (Thanks Mr. Kelly!?!) pulled over to help, filled my radiator full of distilled water, and found the hole in the upper hose. I drove to the Goodyear in Vestavia and had both hoses replaced. My roommate brought me home but I had to ride my bike back to get my car. It was my first use of my new Mountain Bike I got for Christmas...go figure!?

When I got home, I was so antsy and the weather was so incredible, I went for a four mile run. Ah.

I got dinner with Jeff at Baha Burger (can you believe they were out of sweet potato fries?!) and then we watched WALL-E (which by the way, is quite the disturbing little animated film).

It was a great day and I can't believe how beautiful the weather was. So thankful to have enjoyed it practically all day long!

The End

What Wonderous Love Is This, O My Soul

It's been a full few weeks and I have learned so much that I feel like I've barely had time to process it all. But it's been incredible.

I few weekends ago, I did something very un-Karen-esque...totally spontaneous, and well worth the craziness. I drove to Atlanta (Woodstock actually) on a Sunday after church to see "Travis Cottrell and Friends" (Cindy Morgan and Beth Moore!) in concert and filming for a new live CD/DVD. I stayed with my friend Karen that night, and had a great time catching up. Waking up at 4am to drive back to Birmingham for work at 730am Monday morning (and pretty much risking my life because I was too stubborn to pull over and get coffee even though I was totally nodding off!?!?!) was totally worth watering a friendship, the amazing concert worship experience, and wise words from Beth Moore. All I had to write on during the concert was a Publix receipt...but here are just a few things I needed to hear from this woman:

Sometimes we resist true worship because we don't feel real...whether we are feeling betrayed, confused, doubting, etc. But our transparency is our liberty!...to come in our true state -- as broken people in need of mercy. However, we must come willing to receive. If we are honest with ourselves, there are times we just don't want to do this. In those times, we must cry out to the Lord, "HEAL MY 'WANT TO'!" Come, pour out your all to Him, so as to make room for Him to pour Himself in.
If you've been devastated and brought low because of something/someone in this world, and you stand up again, and Jesus is the only One you see...you've stood up in victory. You've won!
And lastly: Even Peter needed a "shut-up-and-listen" talking-to from God. If you want to know Who Jesus is, see what God has to say in Scripture about His own Son. "My Beloved." God declares His love for Jesus to Peter, right there on the top of Mt. Sinai (see Matthew 17) Flip over a few pages to John 15:9. Jesus is speaking to His disciples: "Just as the Father has loved Me, so have I loved you, abide in My love."

Do I 'abide' in the love that God the Father has for me, His child? Do I believe it? If I can grasp that kind of love, it will change how I see God, how I see others and definitely how I see myself. "Oh righteous Father, although the world has not known Thee, yet I have known Thee; and these have known that Thou didst send Me; and I have made Thy name known to them, and will make it known; that the love wherewith Thou didst love Me may be in them, and I in them." (John 17:25,26)

"The mystery that has been hidden from the past ages and generations; but has now been manifested to His saints, to whom God willed to make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles, which is Christ in you, the hope of Glory." Colossians 1:26,27

What wonderous Love is this.

A Future and a Hope (Jer. 29:11)

We stole the phrase "The sisterhood." My three friends, Kim, Crystal, Sarah and I have been through loss, transition, moving, relationship troubles, and lots of spiritual growth over the past three plus years of our shared friendship. We've rung in the new year together since 2006 (well, Sarah joined us a year late)...and this year was no exception. However, we've begun a new tradition over this past year that has proved challenging, changing, and encouraging. It's worth sharing, for sure!

At the beginning of 2008 we each shared and recorded each others goals for the year in five catagories: Physical/Health, Financial/Stewardship, Spiritual/Ministry, Friends/Family, and Work/School. We met again six months later to go over our goals, update, evaluate where we were, and encourage each other in our slacker areas! It's been a great year of change, challenge, travel :) and growth for me personally. But the greatest blessings have been to look back and see where the Lord has changed Sarah's direction (she landed at FSU?!), provided a need (mentors for all three of my friends!), taken away relationships, and brought some new ones, all the while, growing our trust and dependence on one another, and most importantly on Jesus Christ, the Author and Finisher of our faith.

This year, as I review the goals I've set, I am reminded of the verses I stood on as a high school senior: Proverbs 16:9 "The mind of a man plans his way but the Lord directs his steps." And Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord...to prosper you and not to harm you...to give you a future and a hope."

I have a lot of hopes for this new year. I want to find rest in Christ alone instead of striving to do, be, serve, and accomplish. Though this past year was very enjoyable, with lots of travel, time with friends and family, and lot of answered prayers for family members and friends, there were times this year that I tried to fit things together that didn't fit...to serve where God hadn't provided opportunity, to pursue relationships God didn't allow to prosper, to get involved with ministries that didn't necessarily have a place for me. There were a number of closed doors, confused prayers, and standing still when I thought I should be running!

But this year, I want to be convinced that I am serving out of obedience and not just desire. I want to know where He is leading me and be confident of His calling. I want to bring Him glory in small acts of obedience at work, in big acts of faith in trusting Him to open the door for medical missions, and even in buying a house if He provides in that area.

Mostly, I just want to know Him more and grasp more fully the depth of His love for us, so that I can truly show love to the people I see every day.

Labor of Love

I heard this song for the first time last year and fell in love with it. Today I got this YouTube link. And a message from Laura that I echo: "Take a moment to listen & watch to this song; it is absolutely beautiful--a true reminder of what we are about to celebrate. I love you all! Merry Christmas!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KY6Hov0wSc&feature=related

Artist: Andrew Peterson lyrics Album: Behold The Lamb Of God Year: 2004 Title: Labor Of Love lyrics

It was not a silent night
There was blood on the ground
You could hear a woman cry
In the alleyways that night
On the streets of David's town

And the stable was not clean
And the cobblestones were cold
And little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
Had no mother's hand to hold

It was a labor of pain
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love

Noble Joseph at her side
Callused hands and weary eyes
There were no midwives to be found
In the streets of David's town
In the middle of the night

So he held her and he prayed
Shafts of moonlight on his face
But the baby in her womb
He was the maker of the moon
He was the Author of the faith
That could make the mountains move

It was a labor of pain
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love
For little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
It was a labor of love

What's Next?

Have you ever become so engrossed in a book that you dread turning that last page, realizing it's over and having to step back into your world again? I love it when a book excites me, captivates me, and challenges me. I just finished reading one of the most powerful and convicting books I think I've ever read. BRUCHKO is about a young mans' journey as he becomes a Christian, feels called to missions, becomes passionate about a group of murderous South American Indians, and pursues that calling to reach this primative tribe, in order to be obedient to what he feels Christ has placed inside him. What he finds is more than you could possibly imagine. And he ends up learning more than he could ever teach. It challenges the very core of a believer, in WHO and in WHAT is our trust?

Reading that book definitely fanned the flame of desiring to be used in sharing God's redemption story; That God became a man and walked on the earth, so as to reconcile us, through Christ, to Himself.

The Lord reminds me often that I don't have to leave the country to make a difference. In fact, another recent read, a book called SAME KIND OF DIFFERENT AS ME, spoke to this very fact. It is a true story of a modern day high end art dealer, and a modern day cotton plantation slave from Louisiana. The story tells how their paths crossed and thier lives were changed forever because of it. I was humbled as I read how the influence of one person with faith in Christ, power in prayer, and a calling, can change the lives of so many people, through simple acts of obedience to what the Lord has placed in their heart.

I'm challenged to believe God can and will use me in specific ways that are unique to the gifts He has placed in me. I get jealous of friends who are "doing more" for the Lord, be it here or in other countries. I struggle sometimes to be content as a single woman, working 50+ hours a week, knowing that I have friends who are passionately pursuing the ministry that God has called them to. Do I feel called to be a PA? I have absolutely no doubt God has placed me where I am, doing the very thing I've wanted to do since I was seven. Do I feel like my job as a PA is truly ministry? Ah...therein lies the rub. I fail so often to realize that as a follower of Jesus Christ, as His hands and feet in this world, everything I do is ministry. Or should be. Wow. I have a long way to go in my attitude and actions on a daily basis. I miss so many opportunities. And although I do love being a PA, I can't help but ask God, what's next?

Books like the two above, coupled with so many sermons I've heard just over the past six months remind me how Scripture compells us to serve the orphans and widows, to take care of the poor, to give more of our time, talents, and treasure (and horde less), to welcome God's divine 'interruptions' to my plans for myself...and leave me with a Holy dissatisfaction. I want more of these things to become reality in my life.

Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for my possessions, my career, my family and friends, my church and even the trials I have walked through in my life. God is using each of these areas to teach me more about Who He is, how much He loves me, what He has done for me, and what He is doing in me.

Still, I know that I want more.

Tis the Season

I've thought and rethought this post because each time I think I have something to post, I am exposed to something new, another angle, etc and before I know it, days have passed and I've lost the original thought! Well, this post may turn out to be very long winded...but let's just see where it takes us, shall we?

It seems when the same idea pops up in multiple areas of my life, it is the Lord trying to get my attention and teach me something. This has been my experience over the past weeks. It started with an email forward. If you are anything like me, you really don't like forwards. And unfortunately, I've gotten so many forwards about Christmas and Christ, that I just delete them now without really looking them over. They really bother me. Probably more than any other forward. Why? Because the idea that the most powerful and life changing message in all of history could be reduced to some sparkle-filled email with cutesy music in the background is so trite. And, in all reality, where are the emails about Christ from these people the other 11 months out of the year? Have we really missed the miracle of the Incarnation by that far that we have reduced the message to a holiday e-card?

Christ pursued me as a selfish and needy 8th grader at age 14, through a group of friends in Junior High. I was introduced to church in the Southern Baptist tradition. It was thrilling! However, only recently have I been exposed to the idea of The Advent Season through my current church, Mountain Brook Community. For the last two Sundays, our pastor has been compelling us to draw near to Christ in this season, lest familiarity breed contempt. Lest the "gluttony of Thanksgiving give way to the greed of Christmas." (We easily get so busy going, doing, buying, wanting, baking, going to parties, 'spending more than we make on things we don't need, to impress people we don't like anyway.') I'll be honest, it makes me feel good when I have lots of holiday things to do and people to see. I'm a people person. People have always been my biggest weakness, easiest distraction, and greatest pleasure. Taking time out of my busy schedule to stop and listen is still just beyond my grasp. But it is important to me. Enough so that I will place it on my calendar...not plan anything, get away, grab my Bible, my journal, my pen, and some lessons about this new-to-me way of celebrating Christ becoming flesh and dwelling among us, the Advent, or, "the period of expectant waiting and preparation for the celebration of the Nativity of Jesus."

Saturday night I had the privilege of volunteering with World Vision at the Casting Crowns Christmas concert at the BJCC here in Bham. I had originally wanted to just go to the concert but it was pretty expensive. The very next day I got an email asking for volunteers and was overjoyed to sign up! My friend Kyle and I went together and not only played a part in getting 150 children from all over the world sponsors, but also got to enjoy the majority of the concert AND take home a free CD! The most powerful part of the evening, though, was when Casting Crowns sang a powerful new arrangement of "I heard the Bells on Christmas Day" along with the Birmingham Boys Choir. It was absolutely phenomenal!!! The words were written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow on Dec. 25th 1864 of his experiences involving the tragic death of his wife and the crippling war injury of his son. It was still months away from Lee's surrender to Grant ending the war in 1865. Written in the midst of darkness and hopelessness, the "bells" reminded him that there is still HOPE in the midst of a storm. I highly recommend you download it, turn it up loud, and allow the message of HOPE to fill you.

The Advent, the Incarnation, Hope.

God made a promise. He made a people. He not only kept His promise, He kept His people. He not only kept His promise, He FULFILLED His promise...AND HIS PEOPLE.

Christ IN US the hope of Glory.

Have you ever longed to truly know what that means? Have you ever experienced Christ IN you? His HOPE? His GLORY?

He changes everything.