War and Peace

It's almost 1am and I still have more clothes on my bed than in my suitcase. BUT..I do have packed: a book and a note and a surprise for Jessica, coffee and clothes for Kristina, a journal for JoJo, peanut butter and other treats for Gloria, and boots and school supplies for Kristina too. Oh, and all of our VBS craft supplies (well, my portion, these were equally split up thankfully!)...

At this rate, I may or may not be clothed during my week in India!?! Of course, it IS 110+ degrees there currently. So hey, may not be so bad after all ;)

Really, the point of my post is to remind myself, and you of course, just how the Lord has directed so many steps along the way leading up to this trip. Because, to be honest, these past three days have been difficult. And I was enlightened by the rest of our team at our final meeting last night, that they too are experiencing increased difficulty this week. Health issues, family sickness, job issues, family job loss, house transitions, kid transitions, frustrations, feelings of unpreparedness, fatigue, and faintheartedness.

But do you know why? Because what is about to transpire is a threat to a very real power:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, 19 and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. Ephesians 6:10-20

And also, there is a very big battle going on in the heavenly realms. We get a glimpse of that fact from the prophet Daniel:

And behold, a hand touched me and set me trembling on my hands and knees. 11 And he said to me, “O Daniel, man greatly loved, understand the words that I speak to you, and stand upright, for now I have been sent to you.” And when he had spoken this word to me, I stood up trembling. 12 Then he said to me, “Fear not, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand and humbled yourself before your God, your words have been heard, and I have come because of your words. 13 The prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me twenty-one days, but Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I was left there with the kings of Persia, 14 and came to make you understand what is to happen to your people in the latter days. For the vision is for days yet to come.” When he had spoken to me according to these words, I turned my face toward the ground and was mute. 16 And behold, one in the likeness of the children of man touched my lips. Then I opened my mouth and spoke. I said to him who stood before me, “O my lord, by reason of the vision pains have come upon me, and I retain no strength. 17 How can my lord's servant talk with my lord? For now no strength remains in me, and no breath is left in me.” Again one having the appearance of a man touched me and strengthened me. 19 And he said, “O man greatly loved, fear not, peace be with you; be strong and of good courage.” And as he spoke to me, I was strengthened and said, “Let my lord speak, for you have strengthened me.” 20 Then he said, “Do you know why I have come to you? But now I will return to fight against the prince of Persia; and when I go out, behold, the prince of Greece will come. 21 But I will tell you what is inscribed in the book of truth: there is none who contends by my side against these except Michael, your prince. Daniel 10:10-21

So we spent a large portion of our evening in prayer to the One True God. We rely on Him, need Him and have nothing to offer without HIM. And I was able to spend a refreshing evening with my sweet friend Heidi and her children. We prayed together and Isaiah (3ys) thanked God for Miss Karen and shorts. I meeeaaaaannnn....how amazing is that. I love that little guy! Heidi prayed over me and for our team; I came home to find a sweet treat and notebook with a prayer on a note from Ashley, and then was able to continue my refreshing with sweet Cierra and Audrie over a big juicy hamburger (did I mention I'm going to India?). Ci prayed over me as well and seriously, the presence of the Lord feels like a blanket of peace wrapped around me.

I'm so thankful for the preparation, the VBS lesson we'll be teaching and the vivid illustrations that make up our teaching time with these kids. It's as if I gave only a small few of you a sticker on your hand. Then, I offered candy to all of you but qualified it by saying only those with a sticker can have a piece of candy. You have a sticker problem if you don't have a sticker. Is there anything you can do about your sticker problem? Can you change my requirement? No. Can you create a sticker out of nothing? No. Well now what? You can do nothing about your sticker problem. But...I can do something. I won't change my requirement. You still need a sticker to get candy. BUT. I can give EVERYONE a sticker. And thus, all a piece of candy.

And so it is with the One True God. His requirement to be a part of His family, to be with Him eternally in Heaven, is righteousness. But, we have a sin problem. We can do nothing about our sin problem. It is our essence, our nature. Not just what we do, but who we are. Nor will a HOLY God change his requirement of righteousness. BUT...what He can do, is extend righteousness to all of us. And He DID! Through the shed blood of a sinless Man as Jesus took our sin upon himself at His death on the cross. Now, the bible says, Whosoever (ie: anyone) believes in Him (on Him...for salvation from death and separation) should not perish but have eternal life....to those who called upon Him, He gave the right to be called children of God!

Praise OUR GOD!

The Countdown BEGINS!

WOW. So many amazing and wonderful blessings to share these past few weeks!!

Let's start with just how many wonderful people I have met through my church faith family...and gotten so close to, and watched as the Lord has called them other places, to other countries. I am so thankful for Kristina and Jessica. For the Nichols and Coe families. And for Brook and Heidi. It's so amazing how just several months ago, I was in India meeting the Landge family and hanging with my new Indian brother, Jojo...and then he came to the states and we spent six months in true fellowship. I met so many wonderful brothers and sisters THROUGH Jojo and his passion for people and for Christ. Now he is back in India...and I'm going there in 10 days!!!! It's come full circle. Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! (Romans 11:33)!!

Also this past week, I was able to travel home to FL and spend time in Tampa, Clearwater Beach, and Merritt Island...soaking up time with friends, mentors, family and the Lord. My favorite place on the planet is sitting with my bible and praying on the beach in the cool breeze and perfectly blue sky. The water was SO CLEAR and the temperature was mid70s. I serioulsy could have stayed there forever.

While I was gone, another wonderful blessing, my new roommate was moving in so that not only did I have a sweet ride home from the airport...I had an apt full of boxes!! YAY! That means yet another chapter of "the roommates of Karen Connor" has begun. So many times of fun, fellowship and fitness ahead :)

Lastly, we had our last India team meeting before our last India team meeting last Sunday. Ha. Yes, it was our last pre-scheduled meeting during which we realized we need yet another "last" meeting to wrap up and truly prepare with excellence. I love this TEAM!!!!! We are truly uniting in heart and Spirit and I cannot WAIT to see what the Lord will do through us. Each member is perfectly suited for the needed roles...we have a musician who choreographed all the songs! We have three men that WANT to be master teachers and are PUMPED about it! We have fabulously creative people who thought up and planned all the crafts. We have athletes who have planned all the recreation. We have artists who have designed the room decor, and we have an amazingly enthusiastic team leader who CHALLENGES us with her faith, passion, love, and excitement!!

I will be working with 8/9/10 year olds and helping with music. I've also been asked to be the official "first aide" lady for any injuries. Ha. Nice.

We long to impart to these slum kids that they have value because they have a Loving Creator, they are special because God is calling them to know Him. And that Jesus died for their sins to make it possible for each one of them to have a personal relationship with the ONE TRUE GOD!

We'll be working along side the Indian national teachers and translators who work hard every year to provide this opportunity for the kids to get out of the slums and get into the city and be loved on, taught, poured into, fed, and taught the Truth of the Gospel.

I can only begin to tell you just how FULL my cup is to overflowing with so many wonderful "lovies" from my Father in Heaven! I long to pour my self out on His behalf and for His glory... in my family, in my friendships, at work, in my faith family, and in other contexts around the world as the Lord calls.

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” (Romans 8:15)

Learning How to Love

Steven Curtis Chapman's son Caleb has a band by that name and it's pretty legit! Here's the lyrics to a favorite song of his...look them up on iTunes!!! Or click the song title (link) for a poor recording attempt from a live concert..he's such a little cutie.

LEARNING HOW TO LOVE

By Caleb

Say, they say that trust it takes time.

That it’s a mountain to climb.

I think that I am the reason why.

Break,

I’ve broken promises made.

I’ve shaken ground that’s been laid.

And built these walls to protect my pride.

I think I’m falling apart at the seams.

And it seems they’re unraveling, as usual.

CHORUS:

I’ve been waiting for… things to change in my heart again.

I’ve been changing… while waiting,

I’ll be taking steps for YOU.

I’ve been changed,

But I’m still learning how to Love.

I’m still learning how to Love.

Take me.

I feared that love wouldn’t take me.

I feared that Grace was a maybe.

I feared the cost of my broken word.

Trust me.

You took my hand and said “Trust Me.

You took my heart and said “Love Me.

With who you are not with who you were.

Why do I run to the things that I don’t want to do

What’s the problem here?

I’ve felt Love that’s been true

But continued to unravel still…

CHORUS

Refrain:

Oh these storms I know

These battles of the soul

The scars that start to show

While learning how, learning how, I am learning how to Love…..

CHORUS

Truth

From my morning time in the Word...sometimes the Word just hits a chord with us...did that today. Praying expectantly. Oh Lord, you are Sovereign.

2 Corinthians 2

1 For I made up my mind not to make another painful visit to you. 2 For if I cause you pain, who is there to make me glad but the one whom I have pained? 3 And I wrote as I did, so that when I came I might not suffer pain from those who should have made me rejoice, for I felt sure of all of you, that my joy would be the joy of you all. 4 For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you.

Forgive the Sinner

5 Now if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure—not to put it too severely—to all of you. 6 For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, 7 so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 8 So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him. 9 For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything. 10 Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, 11 so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.

Saturated

And I don't mean by layers upon layers of tree pollen...

I mean, by India! I couldn't get away from the mere mention of Mother India if I tried these days. And I couldn't be more enthralled! She's everywhere: Where I've been, where I've bid farewell to a new but dear friend-Kristina, where my Pastor is on his journey home from, and where we will soon commission yet another new and sweet dear friend, Jessica. Oh, and did I mention I'm going back as well?

I'm learning so many new things about India these days and just drinking it all in. All the while, my heart is breaking over what I hear.

By the numbers:
*Home to 1.1 billion people.
*41% of the worlds poor reside in India.
*Over 130 million of these people do not currently have access to clean, safe drinking water.
*456 distinct languages.
*The New Testament has been translated into about 120 of these languages; the entire Bible into only 70 of them.
*Northern India is home to 600 million people but where fewer than 0.5 percent are evangelical Christians.

On the flip side, I'm truly filled with joy to hear how God is moving. God's heart is for the nations! He longs for sons and daughters from every tribe, tongue and nation of the earth to know Him, enjoy Him, and worship Him. And He is working mightily in this dark country!

As a team we are preparing together by focusing on God's glory among the nations. Here are some excerpts from our team training study:

God's global purpose is to redeem a people unto Himself. That is the overriding theme of the Bible--from Genesis to Revelation. In heaven there will be a great multicultural worship service that culminates this gathering. See Rev. 7:9-12 for a description. To that end He has commissioned us as ambassadors to take the good news to all the "ethne" or people groups. All nations whom You have made shall come and worship before You, O Lord; and they shall glorify Your name (Psalm 86:9). We ... worship in the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus... (Phil 3:3). "God can be loved only when He is known. That’s why the story of the Bible is the story of God revealing Himself in order to draw to Himself obedient worship, or glory, from the nations. With God’s passionate love at the core, the Bible is truly the story of His glory...A Purpose Beyond Salvation...People are indeed saved by the global declaration of God’s salvation, but the ultimate value of their salvation is not to be seen in what they are saved from, it is what they are saved for that really matters. People are saved to serve God in worship. In this respect, we can say that world evangelization is for God. However accustomed we may be to seeing people as being of paramount importance, the Bible is clear: The rationale for mission is the colossal worthiness of God. Examine the logic of Psalm 96:2-4: Proclaim good tidings of His salvation ... Tell of His glory... among all peoples. For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; He is to be feared above all gods." ~Steve Hawthorne

So, rather than sit in my amazing church Sunday after Sunday, in my beautiful city, in this free country, where I am in the richest 2% of the entire globe...and soak it all up until I go rancid...

I choose to be squeezed out, wrung out even...For I am saturated with the Good News of the saving Grace of God through Christ crucified on behalf of the entire world. I am full of that Grace and I long to be emptied out, to quench the spiritual thirst of the nations as they drink deeply, for the first time, the Glory of God in Christ!

Little Children....

All the paper work has been turned in and I'm in preparation mode...even though we still have a little under three months left before departure. We had our first official team meeting at our team leader (KB)s' home, which was a first for me and I LOVED the way it made us instantly feel like not only a team but a family. She's a strong leader and I'm really excited to travel under her and learn from her!

KB gave us each a folder full of info about the trip. This woman is crazy organized. She also challenged us to fast one day a week until we leave and gave us a myriad list of things to pray through and for. HARD! The team chose Thursday but that is unrealistic for me so I chose Saturdays. In some ways easier, in some ways harder. Today is Saturday. This is my first day. And I'm hungry. And so I blog :)

Our team has several couples, meaning, we will have men! And these men are EXCITED about teaching the Word! It is so beautiful and encouraging to me to see men lead and serve!! There are some great single gals, too, that I can't wait get to know better. All total, we have 15 people on our team...It's going to be an amazing trip just from the looks of the roster!

I've been in a bible study this school year with my friend Annie who is also on our team. We've been studying through Isaiah and have been blown away by the prophets vivid description of idols, idolatry, and the One True God. Throughout this book of the Bible, we've been constantly reminded of our trip to India last September. Annie and I had just started the study and were living it on the streets of India at the same time. In many ways, we could better understand the gravity and deception spoken of by Isaiah: That with one half of the wood they make fires and cook their food, and with the other half, they carve idols that they then bow and worship. That these idols have mouths but cannot speak, ears but cannot hear, and are burdensome. They cannot move from place to place but must be carried by those that create them. They cannot answer prayer or give hope. They are lifeless and those who worship them will become like them.

These are strong, eye opening, and maybe even offensive words to some. But they are true not only for cultures with 33million gods and goddesses...but for me and my culture as well. In fact, there idols are visible and plainly seen as idolatry in light of scripture. The idols in my culture are much much more subtle. And yet, just as lifeless and deceptive. My culture has idols like food (that is really real to me right now...did I mention I'm hungry??? lol)...like drinking and partying...like sexual exploits and constantly seeking after pleasure...like wealth and material possessions...(It's been said that while we are busy keep up with the Jones' most people in this world are just trying to survive). I could go on and on but I think you get the point. And hopefully you are sifting through your own life and asking yourself, What gives me comfort? What is it that makes me feel satisfied? Where am I getting my self-worth, my hope? What am I turning to in hardship or relying on to "escape" the difficulties of this life? If you are like me, the answers are sometimes not pretty. They are selfish, and often based on deception. And more times than not, leave us feeling the same or worse then before we acquiesced.

Contrast the above with the words of the Lord through Isaiah in chapter 46:3-4:
“Listen to me, you descendants of Jacob,
all the remnant of the people of Israel,
you whom I have upheld since your birth,
and have carried since you were born.
Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you."

I'm so thankful that the Lord has given me this opportunity to see Him so clearly, through scripture, through the people groups of this world, and through my own struggles as I walk with Him. "It is in Him, through the shedding of His blood, that we have our deliverance--the forgiveness of our offenses--so abundant was God's grace" Ephesians 1:7

And finally, I love how John addresses us in 1 John 5:21...and the sweetness of his warning:
"Little children, guard yourselves from idols."

Amen.

Doors of India--DOOR OF OPPORTUNITY!

I'm always sweetly surprised by how perfect God's timing truly is. A week ago, I had several friends over for a "girls night in" and as we sat around my kitchen table sharing delicious pizza (nope, I wasn't even about to cook on a Friday evening after a LOOONG week!)....we predictably landed on the subject of missions. Annie and I went to India together just last September, Linn will be going to Dominican in June for a few weeks, Kristen is awaiting her work Visa to return to south India to teach...and well, Katie mentioned a trip to India with the church in June. It will be working with slum kids--about 800-900 of them from four different slums--in a vacation bible school type setting. Delhi, I asked? Yup, Delhi, she replied...In JUNE...and oh by the way, the deadline to sign up is this TUESDAY!!

My mind raced through "MY" plans for my summer. And quickly proved I had none. I had wanted to travel to Kenya on a medical trip. And to S. Africa with another church. I had heard about an opportunity to return to Dominican and possibly meet my Compassion child. But my heart had skipped a beat over India...again so soon?? I couldn't begin to imagine.

Annie sounded pretty convinced she was going to sign up. After all, June is slow for the accounting world. I never have a "slow" time. And how in the world was I to ask permission in a DAY? "SO Mr. Boss....I'd like to know if I can go on such and such a trip. Oh, and I need to know by tomorrow. Got it?" Yeah.....

Well, I spent the weekend in prayer and attempting to email the above mentioned trip possibilities. Four of them, to be exact. And I stayed inside. And I stayed quiet.

By Sunday evening after church, I had three emails in my inbox. All from the leader of the India trip. The first was about a page and a half long with multiple exclamation points. This lady was pumped about her trip!!! And she sounded so fun! I had heard some great things about her as she had only recently stepped down from the childrens leader position at our church. Everyone who knew her said she was a ball of energy and super wonderful. The remaining emails had to do with our ministry partners and the details of their ministry, both of which I knew well since I had only just been there.

I sat there staring at the computer screen, thinking aloud. I can't think of a reason NOT to go on this trip! I will be in the same city, with the same stellar mission organization, with the same people I've already built relationships with, and even traveling with Annie again, who happens to also be in my bible study here on Tues nights (so we know what each other have been learning in the Word and have been sharing fellowship biweekly since mid summer). Plus the fact that I've truly desired to meet more older women in our church and would love to see my sponsor child again. It will all come down to my boss. Lord, you can shut this door tomorrow if I am not supposed to go. You can fling it wide open at the same time. Use him to steer me toward or away from this trip according to your purpose.

So, as my thoughts above became reality, I addressed my boss with my day deadline in approving this trip. And then, I slept on it.

Tuesday was a full and busy day of eight surgeries, all total joint replacements. I was exhausted when I walked sheepishly into my office managers office...with the look of ...well??? Oh, he said, I talked to the docs and they said it shouldn't be a problem.

And so, the rest of the evening consisted of me getting my application notarized, deposit check, and paperwork to the church and in the safe deposit through rush hour traffic in the rain at 530pm.

I'M GOING BACK TO INDIA!!!!!!